What’s the secret to a calmer, more connected relationship with your child?

Hi Reader,

I hope you've had a great week and are surviving the severe weather! 🌧️ This week, I've had several conversations about emotional safety... Tell me… Does this sound like you?

Your child’s emotions are all over the place. 😩 It feels like every time they get upset, you get upset too. The tantrums, the frustration — it all builds, and suddenly, you’re caught in a cycle of reacting instead of connecting. You’re left wondering where it all went wrong. You want a loving, open relationship with your child, but right now, it feels like everything you try just ends in more tension. You’re worried things will only get worse as they get older.

Here’s the truth: The relationship you want with your adult child starts NOW, with how you handle their big feelings today.

When we imagine our future relationship with our grown children, we often think: “I want them to be open with me,” “I want them to come to me with their struggles,” “I don’t want them to be scared of me,” and “I want them to WANT to spend time with me.” But here’s the catch: those things don’t happen by accident. The foundation for that relationship is built in how we respond to their emotions right now.

Are you creating a safe space for your child to express themselves?

If, in moments of overwhelm or frustration, you focus more on how uncomfortable or irritated you feel, your child may not feel emotionally safe with you. And when they don’t feel safe, it’s harder for them to trust you with their feelings as they grow older.

Three things to think about today to start building that relationship NOW:

• Stay calm in the storm 🌪️: When your child’s emotions escalate, take a moment to breathe before reacting. Your calm presence teaches them how to regulate their own emotions. This is called co-regulation… you literally "share" your calm with them.
• Acknowledge their feelings 💬: Instead of rushing to fix the situation, validate their emotions. Saying “I get that” helps them feel heard, even if the problem isn’t immediately resolved. If this makes them more upset, say nothing. Just focus on being calm and present. Don’t argue or convince them it’s not a big deal.
• Create space for growth 🌱: Let your child make mistakes, learn from them, and express themselves. This builds their confidence to be open with you as they get older. Things like not wearing a jacket in the cold or not revising for a test are good opportunities to show you’re that non-judgmental space who will let them get it wrong and support them as they figure things out.

If you’d like help navigating this process, my 12-Week Parenting Programme can give you the tools to create the connection you’re looking for. Book a free consultation to learn more about how this programme can support you in building a deeper, more understanding relationship with your child.

Book a Free Consultation here.

Love

Fiona

Journal Prompt What emotions or behaviours in your child tend to trigger you the most?

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