The Unspoken Ways We Teach Our Children About Love 💛

Hi Reader,

Have you ever noticed how parents often say, “My child would never act like this outside the house”? We often feel outraged by the way our children behave towards us—wondering where their manners have gone or why they’re speaking to us like that. But in truth, aren’t we all guilty of the following?

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• Using a tone that’s eh... less that kind?!
• Asking (demanding?) things without patience...
• Arguing and letting frustrations out in ways we’d never do around friends or colleagues (hello mood change the minute that doorbell rings!)
• Quickly voicing when something doesn’t sit right, without considering the impact.

The truth is, when we get through that door, we know we can finally let our guard down and show our worst side. Why? Because we feel safe to do so.

It’s easy to point out our children’s behaviour, but these are the same things we do ourselves. And maybe it’s time we recognised something important: We are all human. In the safety of our own homes, we’re often more raw, more vulnerable, and yes, sometimes less “polite.” That’s not to excuse poor communication, but to remind us that it’s normal to express ourselves in ways we might not always be proud of—especially when we’re under pressure.

My offering to you this week...

• When your child speaks to you in a way that frustrates or offends you, pause. Could it be that they, too, feel safe enough in your relationship to express themselves fully—without fear of rejection or judgement? That’s a wonderful thing (I know... it's the gift that keeps on giving!!). It’s a sign they trust you. But it’s also a chance for you to model something incredibly important: how to navigate conflict with love and respect—the same way we hope our children will learn to communicate with us and others, including their future partners.

As parents, we are the first and most influential experience of love for our children. The way we handle difficult moments, express our emotions, and repair our relationships becomes their blueprint for the future. If they see us apologising when our emotions get the better of us, respecting each other’s boundaries, and genuinely enjoying one another’s company, they’ll learn that love isn’t about perfection—it’s about connection.

Now, think about this for a moment: What is your child learning about love from your home?

Are they seeing a family that models respect and understanding? Do they witness open, honest conversations about feelings? Are they learning that it’s okay to be imperfect, and that humility, honesty, and kindness matter more than being ‘right’?

We are all still learning. Yes, even as adults, we’re navigating how to handle our emotions, how to communicate better, how to apologise when we need to. So let’s stop pretending we have it all together. Let’s invite our children into these conversations, and teach them that we, too, are growing—and that’s something truly precious.

Take a moment to reflect on the ways you communicate with your family today. Can you create space for more grace, more patience, and more understanding?

Love

Fiona

Journal Prompt What emotions or behaviours in your child tend to trigger you the most?

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