The Moment I Decided to Parent Peacefully

Hi Reader,

Creating Peace in the Chaos: A Journey Toward Peaceful Parenting

When I think back to the evolution of Peacefully Parented, it all began with a defining moment—a "line in the sand" that changed everything for me as a parent. Around Christmas 2021, everything seemed to be falling apart, and I was overwhelmed with frustration. 😩 I could barely function, let alone parent. I felt like a failure, and I didn’t know how to make things better.

One morning, my three-year-old son tugged at my sleeve, needing my attention, while I felt angry, exhausted, and just wanted space. I think hot mess is the phrase! 😆 Our life had taken an unexpected turn, and I was getting lost in how much pain and trauma these events might create for him. I was so caught up in my anger about circumstances I couldn’t control that I had lost sight of my power in the moment.

But then, something clicked. ⚡️

In that moment, I realised it wasn’t the external chaos that would hurt him—it was how I chose to respond to it. He wasn’t upset because of the world; he was upset because his mum wasn’t emotionally available, and he was scared. I suddenly understood that how I showed up in that moment would make all the difference. I found myself faced with a question that would forever change my approach to parenting:

“How do I want him to be parented through this season?”

The answer came to me clearly: peacefully. ✨

I decided then and there: I was going to parent him from a place of peace—not perfection. (Spoiler: that didn’t mean I suddenly became a calm, smiling parent 24/7. If you know me, you know that’s a bit unrealistic! 😆)

Instead, I committed to showing up, even when I felt overwhelmed. I decided to create a small haven within our four walls—making time to be present, and to repair things when I got it wrong (which happened more often than I'd care to admit). 💖

This approach isn’t just wishful thinking—it’s backed by research. 🌱

A study published in The Lancet Psychiatry in 2019 found that children who had stable, supportive caregivers during difficult times showed significantly better mental health outcomes in the long term. They were more resilient, with lower rates of depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

It’s a powerful reminder, isn’t it? 💥 We can’t control what happens in the world, but we can control how we show up for our kids.

So, if you're going through a tough time too, remember:

• They don’t need you to pretend everything is fine. It’s okay for them to notice that you're upset. If you pretend everything is okay, it can create more anxiety.
• Be intentional about connection. It doesn’t need to be complicated—sometimes, the simplest moments matter most. 🫶 But make time to be present and connect.
• Keep things simple. Snuggles, reading together, watching movies, picnics on the floor, or arts and crafts. These small acts let them know it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling. For older kids, involve them in planning what they want their week to look like so they have a strong sense of agency.
• Don’t rush to "fix" things. Instead, just listen. Thank them for sharing and tell them you’re glad to be together. Sometimes, it’s enough just to be present. 🧡
• Keep things normal as much as possible. Routine, familiar spaces, and downtime can make a huge difference. Kids feel calmer when they know what to expect.
• Eliminate the 'rush' wherever you can. It only adds unnecessary anxiety. Simplify the schedule and leave plenty of time for the small things, like getting out the door without a mad dash. ⏳

And finally… remember, you don’t have to do it alone. 🤗

I’d love to hear how you’re creating moments of peace with your kids. Feel free to reply to this email or share with me on social—let’s support each other.

Love

Fiona

​

Journal Prompt What emotions or behaviours in your child tend to trigger you the most?

​